As a woman of faith, I want to walk in response to God’s leading in my life. I believe he has good plans for me. I just wish he’d tell me what they are, right now!
Whose voice is that?
When the idea of a crochet empire popped into my head, I could not determine the origin of the thought. Was it a prompt from the Holy Spirit? Is it my own desire? Is it just a crazy notion?! How do I know? I don’t want to move ahead if it’s just a crazy notion—that doesn’t sound like a good reason for starting a business. Yet, with proper research and sound business practices, even crazy notions can be successful.
I must be doing something wrong.
For a long time, I thought that if I wasn’t clear on the direction I am supposed to go, it must be because I’m not hearing. And if God is silent, it must be because I’m doing something wrong. This thinking is a holdover from the religion of my youth (God blesses the obedient and punishes the disobedient). Jesus said the sheep hear his voice. Does the fact I’m not sure I’m hearing mean I’m not part of his flock? No. It means he has to speak louder—I may just be a dense sheep.
God doesn’t want me to have fun.
I’ve had a lot of losses and disappointments in my life; I’ve learned to keep my expectations low. This means I don’t dare hope that I could have a thriving business that I love. Abundant life? Yeah, right! Yet the fruit of the Holy Spirit is joy. I’m still working on this one. I daily write what I’m grateful for. And sometimes I am overwhelmed by God’s goodness to me—it just doesn’t always look like what I think it should (i.e. financial success!).
Thou shalt be a crochet designer.
I’ve been looking for specific direction, thinking that if this is truly the way I’m supposed to go, the road will be easy, and my success will be assured. Just writing this makes me laugh! What crazy thinking! Does anything of value in this life come easily? And when does the result justify the decision? If I get in a car accident on the way to Walmart, does that mean I shouldn’t shop at Walmart? Or I shouldn’t drive on that road? Or at that time of day? If I start a business and fail, does that mean I shouldn’t have started the business? No; maybe I had important things to learn.
Eat, drink, and enjoy your work.
Solomon said that we should eat, drink, and enjoy our work. Proverbs tells us to be diligent and work with excellence. Yes, we are supposed to trust God and he will direct our steps, but perhaps our life choices are not as limited as we imagine. Maybe it doesn’t even matter if I start a crochet business or do something else—maybe the important thing is how I approach my work. Maybe God has gifted me with the freedom to pursue my dreams, whatever I decide they are.
I am learning to live with the discomfort of not knowing. But I am also enjoying the peace of knowing for certain that if I seek him first, God will provide my needs. And so far, I have not heard a booming voice saying, “Hey, you! Stop crocheting!”